The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. Psalm 34:18 (NLT)
. . . "There is no cure for death, nor a recovery that renders us as we were before, and no correct way to survive the death of a beloved" as stated by widowed survivor Genevieve Davis Ginsburg, in her book "Widow To Widow: Thoughtful, Practical Ideas For Rebuilding Your Life".
Looking for tools and some type of support system, I eventually spent countless hours searching for books to relate to how I was feeling.
Although there are many books are out there on the market – Finding the energy to look for something that will resonate with you on some unique level to be a healing balm for your "perfect" storm may become too much of a challenge.
Yet, you must find aids to help pick up the pieces . . .
Although referring to your loss as "Perfect" my seem like an oxymoron to describe your life-altering "event"; however, when I came across one definition for "perfect," it so profoundly described the impact of what had just happened to my life. As defined by a Webster's dictionary, it was the condition in which all the 'weather' conditions have converged to create a historical, cataclysmic storm to become known then as – The “perfect storm." In answering the questions racing inside me: Was it historic – yes; was it cataclysmic – YES! And Yes!
So for me, it was the perfect description of my new found "position."
Although the word "perfect storm" (an expression made "infamous" from a movie made in the year 2000 about such a phenomenon) may seem odd in our modern vernacular for the way to explain the devastation that happens to you when dealing with severe grief. It can feel like an assault on your heart, your mind, your life, the very core – of your soul; your very existence feels as if it's in jeopardy.
Therefore a "perfect storm" in simple term means 1) having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics. 2) absolute; complete. And, my definition would be the total power to devastate and level any, and everything, in its path!
In this sense, this "perfect storm" did just that – it absolutely . . . leveled me.
Each day, I uttered, “I cannot do this. It hurts too much!” Every step was painful!
Every breath was excruciating!
As in the words of the old gospel hymn – ‘Sorrow heavy chains are strong’!